|Written by Katfish|
|Friday, 23 October 2009 23:51|
When we brought Taylor home it quickly because apparent that the wife was not suited for the mid nite/morning feedings. Diaper changes, etc. so I gladly took over. I quit my job at Denny’s as kitchen manager and the wife went out and got a waitress job. Within 6 months my little girl was sleeping thru the nite. So the wife and I once again swapped; I went back to work, she stayed home now that the hard part was over.
Parents remember certain things; I remember her in her walker when I put a Doors tape in – L.A. Women, I think – and they way her eyes flew open and she cocked her head towards the speaker’s w/obvious pleasure. I remember her first baby steps (nine wobbling steps)…her first laughter….her first words….lots of firsts. But you know, there’s nothing unique in any of this; all fathers know and remember these things.
There was the time when she was 4 years old and she came into our bedroom in the middle of the nite and woke me up.
A couple memories I cherish: How we’d be at one of the marts (K or Wal). And she’d see a dolly or dress she wanted and I’d cave in so easily. My own mother used to say, “Look at Michael, 6’3”, 250 pounds, mean bastard his whole life. But that little girl has him wrapped around his little finger.” And indeed it was true. Where as the wife would scowl at me in disapproval. So I began the practice of giving my 5 year old chores to do for cash. I’d stand her on a kitchen chair next to the kitchen sink. I’d pin a towel around her which hung from her armpits to her ankles, and then I showed her how to the dishes. Naturally she’d be paid however much her particular dolly cost. Later that nite I’d sneak into the kitchen and rewash all the dishes in the drainer because Taylor was simply too young and too small to have done a good job. But I never told her that. In fact, I’d hug her and tell her what I good job she’d done.
“Yes, daddy, I wish I had my bike back!”
Later that nite I went and got Taylor’s bike, brought it home and locked it to the porch’s post. The next morning you never saw a happier girl. And I’ll tell you something else; she never forgot to lock it up again.
As I said in “Lunatic Fringe,” one thing led to another after a little old spider bite damned near killed me and left me comatose and then damn near disabled, I once again, after then years of abstinence, took up w/ making meth. The wife, she was in it too up to her ears; buying, selling, using-living and loving the whole life. And meth makes me mean. Yeppers. I become a hater to everyone and everything. But for reasons unknown and unexplainable, Taylor still dominated my heart. Toys, games, clothes. Whatever, nor did I make her do dishes. Lots of money what did I care?
And then we got busted. Fucking awful. I was arrested and cuffed in front of my little girl. She cried and clung to her mom. Sad stuff, that. Naturally I did the right thing, even tho’ my lovely wife (very pretty in ’98) was there and was caught w/ dope, w/pipes, w/micro-torches on her person. I manned up and took it all upon myself. Claimed everything was mine; torch, pipe, dope bad dreams, everything mine. I soldiered up, baby; ate that 3rd class felony raw. Got eleven years for it (6 years sentence plus 5 years of parole paper).
And my wife, after nine years of marriage, was grateful. In fact, she was so grateful that she showed it by agreeing to testify against me in court, plus she divorced me, left me in prison. Took my daughter and disappeared for 3 years! For 3 long years I heard nothing. Oh Lord I missed my baby girl! The heartache was unbearable. It nearly killed me. I’m as serious as a no knock warrant, man.
And it’s to these precious memories that I hold on. I love her and miss her so much….The ex wife? P.Tooety!! Who cares, man? Both good and bad memories there.
I eventually got out of prison and the (ubiquitously owned by Judges & lawyers) half-way houses in late 2001, and was able to hold and love my daughter again. But only on the Disneyland dad weekends.
UPDATE: Taylor and Katfish have been able to reconnect via e-mail, and have been in contact as recent as 10/09. The e-mail program that they are implementing at Federal Prisons is a good thing folks. I enjoy using it myself to keep in touch.
|Last Updated on Tuesday, 10 November 2009 23:48|