Lying in bed here in federal prison, I have a lot of time to reminisce. Tonight I started thinking about old girlfriends. Some of them were pretty cool. But others? Well, let’s just say … a select few of them were nothing but bad, bad, bad! And just like some women are attracted to bad boys, some of we men are crazy like hell about bad girls! I’ve had my share of girlfriends. And I loved them all equally the same. Even the ones the ones that told me they loved me. When in reality, all they were doing was hanging around until the money was gone and the party was over. Listening to heavy metal on my Walkman tonight, one such bad, bad girlfriend came to mind. Her name was Kim. Not to be confused with nursey Kim mind you. This Kim I’ll refer to as Bad Kim. Bad Kim is from the Fort Smith/Van Buren Arkansas area. If she’s still out there running wild today, I’m sure she’s doing nothing but being bad, bad, bad! It’s simply in her nature. That is just the way it’s always going to be.

I first met Kim in ‘91. A cousin to a girl I was dating at the time, Kim was very attractive. A petite little blonde with a great ass, everyone wanted to date Kim. She’d turn heads everywhere she’d go. Bad Kim was one of those girls that had a sexy way of smoking a cigarette. The way her lips puckered and the way she pulled it away from her mouth after taking a drag. I can still see her with that Virginia Slim dangling from her lips today. Yeah, she was sexy alright. Her cousin was plenty hot keeping me as busy in bed as any man wanted to be. But I will admit, I had fantasies about bedding Kim down. In ‘94 I fixed Bad Kim up with my friend Big D.(See previous blogs titled “Brett and Cindy” and “The Daytona 500″). A few months after Big D and Bad Kim broke up, Big D came to me and said, “Tripper. If you ever get the chance, you gotta try some of that!” (referring to Kim of course).”That chick is bad!”

The summer of ‘95 I went to Kim’s house to sell her boyfriend some weed. “Then I pulled up, Kim was lying out on a towel sunbathing in a bikini. Inside the living room, I watched as Kim fanned herself, little beads of sweat rolling off her body. Suddenly I had the urge to ask if I could lick the sweat from between her breasts. But I didn’t. It was the first time I really ever lusted For Kim. We smoked a joint and I left. A week or so later, I was giving Kim a ride into town and I had the urge to hit on her. But again, because she had a boyfriend, I didn’t. There were some things I didn’t like about Kim. And even though her cousin and I were split up at the time, I didn’t make a pass it her that day either. I dropped her off at a friends house on Grand and watched her walk up the sidewalk to her front door. She did have a nice butt, just like Big D said. Her greatest ass-et certainly looked good in those cutoff jeans.

Got busted in May of ‘96 and went to federal prison for the better part of :he next four years. When I got out, Big D told me where Kim lived and I went to see her. Still as gorgeous as ever, Bad Kim answered the door in her panties and bra, threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. She told me how glad she was to see me and how happy she was I was finally back home. I smoked a joint with Kim and afterward she went to find my old girlfriend, her cousin. I partied with the girls for the next two weeks. And inevitably, I went to bed with Anna ‘See previous blog titled “Anna the Hellion”) despite the fact she had already remarried. In the end, I guess Anna felt guilty and eventually went home. And then … there was Kim. Old Bad Kim sitting right there in front of me with nothing more than a 24 year old punk boyfriend— a kid I didn’t like from jump.

Living in the motel, where I eventually got busted on this case, Bad Kim suddenly started coming around. I guess she knew I had some weed and speed and she’d sneak off from her boyfriend on Friday and Saturday nights showing up at my door wearing something hot. The first time I had the balls to make a serious move on Kim, 24 year old Billy Badass showed up knocking on my door asking if Kim was there. Kim said, “Everything’s okay. He just wants to talk. I’ll be right back.” And she left the room. I heard Kim and Billy arguing in the parking lot. Things seemed to be getting pretty heated so I decided to put on my jeans and boots and intervene. “Listen punk! You can take your bullshit arguing elsewhere! I don’t appreciate you raising all this hell in front of my room. Now kick rocks before I stomp a mudhole in your ass! Got it?” Jealous but not stupid, he left. But already having ruined the mood, I didn’t get any pussy that night. Lost interest and both my woody and Kim went on their way.

After that though, Bad Kim really started coming on strong. Knowing I was already seeing a couple of other women, it must have made Kim want me all that much more. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life about women, it’s that they always want what they can’t have. And the more I tried to ignore Kim and leave her alone, the faster and harder she came at me. And me, being partial to blondes it didn’t take long for me to finally give in. In mere days I was smitten with Bad Kim. Especially after we had sex and I found out what a freak she was and what Big D meant when he said, “If you ever get the chance, you gotta try some of that!” This bitch was a straight-up wildcat in bed! I’d never had sex with a woman that took charge like that! Extremely aggressive, Kim literally held me down by the wrists and rode me like a bull at a PBA rodeo. Needless to say, she had me. She broke me from my brief hard-to-get act to, “Baby I’ll do whatever it is you want me to do!” And from that moment on, there was nothing left for her to do but move in for the kill.

Next thing I knew, I was giving Kim dope and peeling off hundred dollar bills like they were going out of style. All she had to do was just mention pussy and I’d get weak in the knees. I bought her clothes, jewelry and jumped through loops for her like a dog at an American Kennel Association Dog Show! For my last six weeks of freedom, I took care of Bad Kim furnishing her with more weed, speed and money than any woman I’d ever been with. She’d hug me, kiss me, blow me and make love to me like no woman I’d ever had before. I was crazy about her and had kicked all the other girls to the curb. Well, as far as she knew anyway. Can’t lie to you guys. You know how I am. Heh! Heh! Anyway … to make a long story short, the minute I went to jail Kim jumped ship on me like the little Pirate bitch she was. I’d just gave her some money to hold for me, parking change, so I knew when I got put in jail and needed it, it would be there.I sent somebody after it for me, she told them it was already gone. I’ve written Kim a few times over the past 8 + years, all to no avail. My “friends” see her from time to time so I hear, but not once has she ever asked about me or answered a single kite. What a bad, bad girlfriend Kimmy was! I hope none of you guys out there fall prey to one like her. I believe the ladies call it thinking with the wrong head. I’m Tripper! Better Days!

I discovered at an early age how much women love diamonds and gold. The first piece of jewelry I ever bought for a female was a promise ring. The dia­mond was so tiny you could hardly even see it or tell it was there. Nonetheless, my 9th grade girlfriend adored it and promptly gave me a kiss. My first wife loved jewelry. But she didn’t get any diamonds and gold. A Choctaw Indian, I bought her rings, bracelets and necklaces made of sterling silver and turquoise. It wasn’t that I didn’t love her. At the time, I just couldn’t afford the good stuff being diamonds and gold. And even if I had been able to afford it, she probably would have got mad at me and hocked it or threw it in my face. All the fine diamonds at Tiffany’s couldn’t please that woman. (See previous blog “The Wrath ofPocahontas”) The Wrath Of Pocahontas

My girlfriend Tina liked diamonds and gold. I bought her some pretty nice rings back in 1983. Blonde and blue, she looked stunning wearing all her expen­sive jewelry. The first one carat cluster I ever bought a woman I bought for Tina. Young at the time, I bought it at Service Merchandise instead of Zales or Kay Jewelers. When Tina ran off with my best friend, she took the ring with her. I sure miss my friend. Just kidding! But she did leave me for another man. Think he bought her any rings? I seriously doubt it. Then there was my girl­friend of 1984. She too got diamonds and gold, but after three years(yes 3) pleasuring her and not getting any pussy? I still had to go. (See previous blog “How ‘Bout a Blowjob”)

How About A Blow Job Yes, there’s been lots of women in my life. And they all got their fair share of jewelry.

My third wife Melinda Ann? Now there was a girl who was spoiled rotten with diamonds and gold. She had rings on every finger, bracelets, necklaces and a gold Seiko watch to boot. There are pictures of her in “Tattoos For Women 21″. You see, she not only got diamonds and gold. She got five grand’s worth of profession­ally done tattoos too. When buying Melinda Ann jewelry, I chose a lot of Black Hill’s gold. I even updated her stuff. When I bought something bigger and better, her old diamonds and gold either got traded in on the purchase or placed in a scrap bag for melting or trading later on. This girl was decked out ladies! I enjoyed buying for her mainly because she was appreciative. Plus, I was high rolling at the time and had all the money in the world. You should have seen the cute little look she got on her face and the way she crinkled her nose. She loved it when I bought her diamonds and gold. And she loved old Tripper as well.

I remember the first one carat solitaire I ever purchased. It was a marquis cut. The guy at Andy’s Gun and Pawn beat me out of that one. Then there were the begets and pear shaped diamonds I’d bought and traded for. And the many rings made out of 18 and 24 karat gold. For a while there, I was dismantling stolen rings placing each individual diamond in small ziplock bags according to weight. Taking my melted down gold, I had custom rings and bracelets made for my girl­friends. All of which they thoroughly enjoyed. And how about this? Anyone ever heard of a mossenite? A mossenite looks like a diamond, will pass for a diamond and even test positive as a diamond on a jewelry store grade diamond tester. But they’re fake! Beware of ads in the newspaper that say, “One carat solitaire $800″. Noting that they never said “diamond” at all. Been there/done that. Lesson learned. Just so you know, you can’t always trust a diamond tester.

The guy who snitched me out on this bit? (See previous blog “The Rat”)THE RAT He use to bring me lots of diamonds and gold. Traded jewelry to me for speed all the time. Sometimes deals a man just couldn’t turn down. My lady friend Jo-Ann told me not to trust Tonmy. Said she felt he was no fucking good. Ignoring her woman’s intuition, I dealt with him anyway. And here I sit today. Doing an ass-load of time because I was greedy and wouldn’t listen when I should have. I got a diamond tennis bracelet from another rat. Twenty-two quarter carat stones set in 14 karat gold. Jackie Butler the stripper got that one. Along with a couple of grams of snow. Of course she was worth it. In reality, she was literally worth her weight in gold. A fun little chick. The kind of girl that caused me to trade dope for diamonds and gold. Man what a hotty! Not just any girl could have got five and a half total carats of stones.

The biggest and best diamond ring I ever traded for was one where I got a very good deal. Sight unseen, I bought a pawn ticket from a friend. I picked up the ring at Paul’s. It had three stones only. A one carat solitaire set in the center of the ring and two three-quarter carat stones on either side. Melinda wanted that ring. And wanted it bad. Begged me for it. But that was one ring I just couldn’t let her have. I bought it as an investment. And in the end, I made money which was a rare thing for me to do. That was one ring she never got to wear on her finger. A friend of mine’s father owns it now. He was smart enough to know what it was and bought it from me when I was down and out and needed the dough. In a way, I wish I would have kept that particular ring. Rings like that are few and far between.

Some of my customers use to think I was a pawn broker. Bringing jewelry as collateral to hold. One girl brought me a ring asking me to keep it until she could pay me for some speed. Said she’d be back in a week. I told her I didn’t want to take her ring but if I did, and she didn’t return, I’d sell it for the cost of the dope. An entire month later she came back asking me if I still had her one carat diamond ring. Didn’t have the money to pick it up, but she still wanted to know. When I told her I no longer had it, that a deal was a deal. She got all sad eyed and upset wishing she hadn’t given it to me at all. That’s when I took it out of my safe and tossed it back to her saying, “This one’s on me. Clean up and don’t hock your jewelry for any more dope.” I just couldn’t bring myself to keep that poor little girl’s ring. But still, I wanted to teach her a lesson letting her sweat.

Never bought any rocks for myself. But I did buy myself some gold. All the diamonds I bought or traded for went to my girls. I gave Kim a nice ring and matching earrings. She probably traded them off the minute I got put in jail. Some women are like that. And others appreciate what they are given. I’m the kind of guy that would rather buy something and give it to a girlfriend than buy something for myself. Especially when it comes to diamonds and gold. From that very first promise ring to the last ring I gave to Jo-Ann, I still remember them all. Being retired, I’ll probably never get to trade for any more. They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend. And you know what? I believe that, they sure got me a lot of preferential treatment over the years. And if I had it to do all over again? I’d still buy and trade for diamonds and gold! I am Tripper! Better diamonds and gold days!