4:20 PM - Paper Hanging
Category: Life

Anyone know what a paper hanger is? How ’bout a check artist? Mickey, I bet you know! Wish I could have ran around with you on the outside. I know you had a lot of fun. Anyway, a paper hanger is a person, male or female, who manufactures, writes and cashes personal or payroll checks using another person’s ID or totally fictitious driver’s license altogether. Over the years, I’ve met dozens upon dozens of crafty, intelligent, experienced paper hangers. Some who were good. Others doing time in the joint effectively learning from their mistakes. Some learn through trial and error. Others just go like hell and rarely get caught. The more experienced paper hanger is also a counterfeiter making his or her own ID’s. I always envied the paper hanger. I would loved to have made and cashed a few thousand checks. But, looking the way I do, my appearance wouldn’t allow me to do so. You have to look the part. And I look more like your neighborhood drug dealer rather than your average, everyday, normal American citizen out to cash his paycheck. If I had to guess, I’d venture to say, girls are probably the best paper hangers. They just look so pretty and innocent, most people probably think there’s no way they’d ever set out to break the law.

One of the best male paper hangers I ever met was a guy named Geoff. Before the days on the Internet, Geoff had to do things the old fashion way. He made birth certificates from scratch. Then, he got driver’s licenses to match. Geoff would go to a used book store and buy an old hardback book, let’s say 35 or 40 years old. In the front of every book there’s usually one blank white page. Geoff tore out that page and printed his phony birth certificate on it. The certificate also required a raised seal. He had an old B & 0 Railroad seal with all the characters filed down so when it was pressed into the paper, you really couldn’t make out the words. Now, his birth certificate looked old and authentic He’d then go to a small town DMV and take the driver’s test and get his license. Then, it was off to the bank to open a bogus business account under his new name, cash checks all over town as fast as he could, and make a small fortune. For an old school fraudster, Geoff was pretty smart. What cracked me up the most about him was, he had a fountain pen tattooed over his heart writing out the words, “Check Artist” in cursive. Forging and cashing checks was Geoff’s life’s profession. And even though I haven’t seen him in like 15 years, I just imagine he’s probably doing time in prison somewhere today.

I met another old boy named Red who use to break into businesses and steal blank checks and registered payroll machines. He too made his own ID’s. He once stole a machine from the Harvesty Company in Tulsa cashing checks at banks and grocery stores all over Oklahoma. When I met Red, he was in jail. He had a map of the state of Oklahoma broke down by county. Inside each county he wrote the number of years he was sentenced to do in prison by that court. The most time he got was 40 years in Tulsa County. 10’s, 15’s and 20’s everywhere else. All running concurrent with the 40. He’d also break into other places and steal money order machines, make money orders, and cash them too. Another old school cat, he couldn’t do that shit today. Technology is too far out there and everyone’s hip to the game. One of the downfalls of being a paper hanger is having to pay restitution when you get caught. This guy’s restitution ran into the hundreds of thousands of dollars! Traveling all over the state, his wife was also a paper hanger. She not only cashed her hubby’s pay checks, she cashed personal checks too. Part of the rush of doing this type of crime is in the “getting over”. It’s fun to be smarter than the average Joe, laughing your ass off all the way out the door with a pocketful of cash! And like any crime, it’s addictive.

My friend Dishonest John and his wife Lisa P. were also professional paper hangers. They made their checks and social security cards on their PC. They also made library cards, college ID’s and other various forms of identification to go along with their driver’s licenses. A nice looking, well dressed woman wearing rings on every finger and having the ultimate gift of gab, Lisa could pretty much write or cash a check for anything she wanted. She once told me she made herself a hospital ID. Suddenly, Lisa was a doctor! She’d put on her long, white doctor’s coat, place a stethoscope around her neck, and go into the mall. Pretending she was in a hurry on her lunch break, Lisa would quickly choose a man’s Rolex for her husband’s birthday and pay for it by check. Funny thing was, her old man’s birthday was every day! Lisa’s downfall, like so many of the other paper hangers and check artists I’ve met … she was a junky. She loved doing meth and cocaine. One time she was so high when making an ID she spelled the last name differently on the check than the other matching ID’s. The snooty old female salesclerk at Zales, jealous of how pretty Lisa was and how nice she was dressed, couldn’t wait to sneak to the phone and call the pigs. Lisa got sent to prison. The clerk got a bonus and raise.

My all time favorite paper hanger was a guy by the name of Rinaldo. Looking at him you’d never be able to tell he was totally full of shit. He too dressed in expensive suits, wore gold and diamond rings and an expensive Cartier watch. All paid for by bogus check or credit card. He took pride in his work in that he told me he never met a person he couldn’t beat. He was so good they even wrote a book about him. He is known as the “Founding Father of Identity Theft” and is immortalized in a book called “Your Evil Twin” by MSNBC’s Bob Sullivan. Back in the days when he made ID’s, he went and purchased the same kind of machine they used at driver’s license bureaus all over the U.S. Carried it around in the trunk of his car. Sometimes even flew with it on a plane! He’d make his own ID’s, constantly smiling for the camera. A very personable guy, you just had to like him. He told me many a story while sleeping in the bed next to me in prison. He knew all the tricks of the trade. I haven’t seen Rinaldo in well over a year now. I think he was due to be released. Said he was going straight. In a way I hope he did. But if I knew all that he knew, there’d be absolutely no fucking way! I couldn’t resist going back out there and hitting another lick. Hope he did, but you never can tell. Might see him on America’s Most Wanted any day.

Yeah, I would loved to have been a professional paper hanger. But like I said before, I just didn’t have the appearance with long hair and all these tattoos. I would have stood out like a sore thumb. A mother fucker in a jewelry store or Sak’s Fifth Avenue would have called the cops on me in a New York second. I guess I could have cut my hair and wore long sleeve shirts. But there would still be that tell-tale teardrop tattooed underneath my right eye. I’d love to be able to go shopping with unlimited funds and a high credit score. I’d be wearing the best of clothes and my PC equipment would be out of this world! My family and friends would have everything their hearts desired, and if I had a special lady, diamonds and gold on every finger, hell, even her toes. I have a close friend here on myspace that has some interesting stories to tell. Maybe one day she’ll share. In the mean time, I wouldn’t advise anyone to go out and break the law. Prison isn’t a fun place to be. Anyone else have any stories of hanging paper? Ones they can tell without getting into a wreck? You don’t meet many hangers in federal prison. Most are doing time in the state. Unless of course they advanced up to counterfeiting currency. Then they’d be right here with me. When you counterfeit currency, not only the FEDS go after you, but the Secret Service of the United States Government as well. Their sole purposes of training are to protect the President and to protect American currency. And really, you don’t want to fuck with those guys, it’s a lose lose my friends. In closing, just remember, don’t ever write a check your ass can’t cash!

 I’m Tripper!  Better Days!